Monday, October 30, 2006

The Desert Island Challenge, Updated

Yes, I know, it sounds like a golf tournament, but it's actually a creative exercise. Here's the setup:

You are marooned on an uninhabited island, somewhere in the tropics or subtropics. You have the clothes on your back and are uninjured and in good health. There is fresh water in adequate supply, and, while it's not exactly the Garden of Eden, there appears to be food available if you know how to find it. So now you face three questions:

1. What is the one tool that you would want to have with you, and why?

2. What is the one book that you would want to have with you, and why?

3. Who is the one person that you would want to have with you, and why?

Ready? Set? Go!

UPDATE: Well, it seems as if Bane is a man after my own spleen, but before I get into that, I want to spend a few moments on edged tools. As you might expect, being an outdoorsy sort of guy, I have what is perhaps a somewhat larger than average collection of knives. For my money nothing beats your basic Boy Scout knife for sheer utility, but lately I've been rather fond of this particular toadsticker —

— which I got from a Glock rep. Nicely balanced, great grip; it takes an edge sharp enough to shave with, yet tough enough to butcher an entire deer without rehoning.

Unlike most knives of this type the sawtooth back is actually useful —

— but that strangely hooked fingerguard had me baffled for the longest time. What was its purpose? Does Glock make a pistol that takes a bayonet? And then one day, in a critical wilderness survival situation, miles from civilization, the purpose of that hooked fingerguard suddenly became absolutely clear!

Ah, the crafty and practical Teutonic mind!

Anyway, kudos to Bane, who seems to be the only one here living in the 21st century. I agree with his first two choices (and if you want to know what they are, you'll have to read the comments), and only disagree with his third choice to the extent that I would pick Paris Hilton instead, because:

a.) she probably doesn't eat much,

b.) there is absolutely no risk at all of my going all "Swept Away" with her, and

c.) if Ms Hilton were to suddenly disappear from the face of the Earth, there are a lot of very, very, very rich people who would spare no expense to find her.

And there's your free story idea for this week. Give me a one-page treatment for a remake of "Six Days Seven Nights," only this time with Vince Vaughn instead of Harrison Ford, Paris Hilton (in a great twist, playing Paris Hilton) instead of Anne Heche, and try to make it funny this time.

Ready? Go!